StephanieI still remember the dream: it was a hot spring day, and I was crawling on the outside window sills of my 3rd grade class room, hoping to not be seen by Mrs. Agard, but knowing I needed to be back in the room; Stephanie looked up from her desk and smiled at me. When I woke up, I was in my cot in the attic of the cabin at the river, it was the summer before 4th grade, and I was in love.
Stephanie was a cute, smart girl who had been in my grade school classes in Tacoma, and I was thrilled to find out she was in my 4th grade class as well. Of course, I was a 4th grade boy - geeky, gangly, and too scared to say 'boo' to her. I remember toying with the idea of writing notes to her, but I don't remember if I ever did. My yearnings went unrequited.
As luck (?) would have it, that was the year that Dad got transferred to a new chemical plant in far away Oregon. We were to move over Christmas break, to the little mill town of St. Helens. On my last day in class, some of my buddies gave me their addresses so that we could write letters. And Stephanie gave me her address, and smiled at me.
I was thrilled!
After my family moved, we started writing back and forth. I don't remember much of what was in the letters - they couldn't have been too deep as we were only 10 years old, but I loved getting those letters.
One day, after nearly a year, I got a letter that broke my heart. I don't remember what I had written to her, but the letter she sent me was full of poisonous words. She hated me! I tore up the letter and cried all afternoon.
I still have her letters packed away in a box in the attic. I've grown up since then, and I know that it probably was a misunderstanding - two children who didn't yet know how to communicate well. I may have written something in all innocence that was misinterpreted, or she was tired of writing and didn't know how to gracefully end the friendship. There is still a slight twinge when I think of it, but now there is a nostalgic and wistful smile, too.
I wish her well, and I'm sure a starr shines for her somewhere.
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